East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize