So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
