sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
