discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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