her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
only you would photoshop your dick
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize