You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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