I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
