Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
COCAINE IS GR8
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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