So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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