Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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