If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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