i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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