Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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