Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
