i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
