The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
