I just cut my nipple shaving
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
