i just identified you from a description of your pipe
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
