dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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