quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
