Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
They have beer where we have blood.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
