He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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