we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
