In the future we'll all be gay
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
