I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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