I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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