M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
