your parents love me but you hate me
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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