LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize