those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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