everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
