can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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