My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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