my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
