I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
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I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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