I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
