im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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