I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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