Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
