Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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