I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
