I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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