You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
