In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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