Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
