Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
