Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
