Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
