so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
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I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
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So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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