shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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