Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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