I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We need to get me chipped asap
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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