I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Last time i carry you out of a forest
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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