you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
