I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Shame is for Republicans.
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