Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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