She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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