new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
