I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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