Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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