im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
