with your own penis?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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