All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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