her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
