I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
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you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
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The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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