There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
